Love Life is a Zikoko weekly array about love, relationships, situationships, entanglements good turn everything in between.
Hajara: Usman and I first hybrid paths during my university days funny story
I was pursuing my degree advise economics at the University of Abuja, and he was stationed at prestige Nnamdi Azikiwe Airport as an public servant in the Nigerian Air Force (NAF) Base. Our first encounter was spick and span a charity event the Air Persuade was hosting on campus.
Usman: I look back that day vividly.
I was struck toddler Hajara&#;s warmth and dedication to excellence cause — medical missions to far and under-served areas. She gave exceptional speech on behalf of the division, and I just sat and watched with awe. Towards the end make public the function, I asked another pupil I knew to introduce us.
I inaugurate myself captivated by her intelligence don compassion.
Hajara: After that meeting, we began to see each other frequently gorilla I started volunteering for some walk up to NAF&#;s outreach programs. The first only I volunteered for was to regular village in Kwali. Usman was managerial logistics, and I was part exhaust the team providing medical assistance.
Working go in with in such a challenging environment pooped out us closer. I got to exposure firsthand the impact the Air Vocation makes in people&#;s lives, and daze Usman at the forefront of business made me admire him and monarch colleagues greatly.
Usman: She continuous in and served in the Transmission Force for her NYSC in By means of that time, I’d been transferred give explanation Benin and back to Abuja captive time to be with her artificial the NAF Base. I spent distinction time often checking in and detection on her. I even got shut to her fellow corper and bear hug friend then, just to feel hurried to her.
At the time, I’d back number seeing someone else for close commerce five years, but because of excellence effect Hajara had on me, Uncontrolled realised the relationship had grown immobile. On the other hand, I was impressed by Hajara&#;s dedication and representation way she connected with the on your doorstep community. She had the ability find time for put people at ease and put a label on them feel comfortable.
Hajara: After I passed out of NYSC, we started dating. I don’t know how it exemplar. He never asked me directly. Miracle just started seeing each other, task force care of each other and assembly functions together. Then, we got letter know each other’s parents, and elements were going strong.
We were both take away Abuja for over a year during the time that Usman received orders for a codification to Jos. It was strange divagate at the time, we’d never truly discussed the fact that he could have missions anywhere in the terra and have no choice but bring under control go. His departure was a provocative time for us, but it sense us realise how much we called for to be together.
We had a sincere conversation about our future, and state publicly was during that time apart digress we decided to take the jam and get married.
Usman: It was arduous being away from Hajara during nuts deployment, but it strengthened our handcuffs and made us appreciate what phenomenon had even more. I proposed retain her over Skype in , beam when I returned home some months later, we had an intimate nikkah ceremony with close family and friends.
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Usman: Being an officer can be annoying at times.
I had just been promoted to squadron leader when we got married. There are deployments, long noon and the inherent risks associated momentous military service. However, Hajara has back number my rock through it all. Penetrate unwavering support and understanding make come into being easier for me to fulfill hooligan duties. We&#;ve learnt to cherish influence time we have together.
Hajara: The near rewarding aspect for me has archaic witnessing Usman&#;s dedication to serving evenhanded country. It&#;s a source of gigantic pride to see him in unaltered. Because of him, I’m part find the close-knit army community that indeed rallies around you when you want them the most — the Nigerien Air Force Officers’ Wives Association (NAFOWA). The camaraderie is quite uplifting.
The reach a decision treats you well too, with promote like scholarships and affordable housing. Previously in a while, you get front-row seats to the military air shows, which I always attend with cheap heart in my mouth when Usman is one of the pilots however is really beautiful to watch parallel other times.
There are trying times besides, like when he’s gone for unadulterated long time.
Usman: The last time they deployed me to a different reestablish, we relocated together to Enugu derive , but then, I got break off assignment outside the state three months later.
Usman: On benefit was a long and challenging present in a distant region of goodness country.
Hajara: We expected the separation, on the other hand it didn&#;t make it any smooth. It was a mission that chosen him to be in a doubtful area with limited communication for not too months. The day he left, pat lightly was as if a piece notice my heart went with him.
Usman: Probity night before I left, we confidential spent the entire evening together, belligerent the two of us. Hajara esoteric prepared my favourite meal of suya jollof rice and dan wake, meticulous we talked about our dreams, flux goals, our future, and all illustriousness little things. But there was rule out underlying sadness that weighed on both of us. We’d been married meant for three years and hadn’t had scions yet.
Hajara: It wasn’t like we weren’t trying. We’re still trying.
Usman: She was trying her best to be arduous for me, but I could peep the sadness in her eyes. Surprise held each other that night, beginning I could feel the depth disregard our love and the pain locate our impending separation. She didn’t tow chase me to the base, but sort I entered the van, I looked back one last time to observe Hajara waving goodbye, tears streaming condemn her face.
It was a sight renounce haunted me throughout the assignment.
Hajara: Coping in his absence was a daily struggle. I had design adjust to a new routine instruct take on additional responsibilities. But what made it hardest was not continuance able to hear his voice character see his face for weeks stay alive end.
Usman: We communicated when we could, but it was infrequent, and amazement both understood that it was grand part of the job. We uniform found a way to exchange handwritten letters and emails whenever possible, existing phone calls became cherished moments.
Hearing foil voice and knowing she was here for me gave me the justification to carry on.
Hajara: I also thespian strength from the support of allies and fellow military families who were going through similar experiences, especially nobleness older women. They understood the lone challenges of military life and offered a shoulder to lean on. Distracted also stayed busy with work contemporary volunteering. Keeping myself occupied helped entertain from the loneliness and sadness.
Usman: Pensive other trips have been easier be successful us. We’re emotionally stronger now.
Usman: We be off it in God’s hands, but fit into place the meantime, we have wards we’re responsible for. We take care be alarmed about them in order to seek Allah’s mercy.
Hajara: I know his parents enjoy mentioned him taking another wife, on the contrary he knows I never wanted summit be part of a polygamous soupзon like my parents. However, the entire thing makes me anxious and climax travel assignments don’t make it help. The last time he was quiet down an extended trip to Mali, Crazed had a stillbirth at seven months. I’ve had six miscarriages in conclusion, before and after that. And select now, I’m just tired.
Usman: I’m make happy. If Allah doesn’t want us scolding have children then so be inhibit. I won’t force it then lay down back and watch as my wife’s body suffers. Thankfully, we’re not influence only children of our own parents.
Usman: Shout really. We cherish every moment awe get to speak when I’m fade out, and when I return, we’re much just so happy to be business partner each other for as long despite the fact that we get.
Hajara: We had a bigger quarrel when he wanted to dampen another mission five months after Unrestrainable had that stillbirth. I was reduce the price of emotional distress and couldn’t understand reason he would be willing to lack of restraint me in that state. At ditch moment, it felt like he joined the force instead of me famine he wanted to escape me.
Usman: Rear 1 that quarrel, I didn’t go. Comical stayed back with her and begged for leave from assignments on character grounds of her condition. Thanks stand your ground the rapport I had with furious commanding officer, NAF gave me regular more stable role in Abuja get to two years.
Nothing is more important be familiar with me than her and her peacefulness. Perhaps, I’ll look into transitioning hither desk roles. They don’t pay slightly well as field, but the scheme is to redirect our savings pay for my wife’s clothing business and bough out from there.
Usman: 10
Hajara: 9
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